Friday, January 16, 2009

A Billion

It's very old.. from multiple sources, I cleaned it up a bit, removed some of the more extreme items, etc.. the 250b New Orleans bit is from 2006, so it's dated. In fact, you can probably ignore the whole damn thing, it's only for my amusement anyway. I updated the "a billion xxx ago it was..." to 2009 because I was curious.


The next time you hear a politician use the word "billion" in a casual manner, think about whether you want that politician spending YOUR tax money.

  • A billion seconds ago it was 1977
  • A billion minutes ago it was the year 106ad
  • A billion hours ago it was 112,146bc - the middle of the paleolithic era (stone age)
  • A billion days ago 2,737,717bc, the Homo genus had not yet evolved
  • A billion dollars ago was 2 hours and 49 minutes, at the rate our government is spending it

While this thought is still fresh in our brains, let's take a look at New Orleans.

Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu (D), is presently(2006) asking the Congress for $250 BILLION to rebuild New Orleans.

Interesting number. What does it mean ?
  • Well, if you are one of the 484,674 residents of New Orleans (everyman, woman, child), you each get $516,528.
  • Or, if you have one of the 188,251 homes in New Orleans, your home gets $1,329,787 for repairs.
  • Or, if you are a family of four, your family gets $2,066,012.

Washington, D.C...... HELLO!!! ... Are all your calculators broken??

Tax his land, Tax his wage,
Tax the bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.
Tax his cow, Tax his goat,
Tax his pants, Tax his coat.
Tax his ties, Tax his shirts,
Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his booze, Tax his beers,
If he cries, Tax his tears.
Tax his bills, Tax his gas,
Tax his notes, Tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.
If he hollers, Tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.
Put these words upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me to my doom!'
And when he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still be after the Inheritance TAX!!

  1. Building Permit Tax
  2. CDL Tax
  3. Cigarette Tax
  4. Corporate Income Tax
  5. Dog License Tax
  6. Federal Income Tax
  7. Federal Unemployment Tax
  8. Fishing License Tax
  9. Food License Tax
  10. Fuel Permit Tax
  11. Gasoline Tax
  12. Hunting License Tax
  13. Inheritance Tax
  14. Inventory Tax
  15. Liquor Tax
  16. Luxury Tax
  17. Marriage License Tax
  18. Medicare Tax
  19. Property Tax
  20. Real Estate Tax
  21. Service Charge Tax
  22. Social Security Tax
  23. Road Usage Tax
  24. Sales Tax
  25. Recreational Vehicle Tax
  26. School Tax, State Income Tax
  27. State Unemployment Tax
  28. Telephone Federal Excise Tax
  29. Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
  30. Telephone Federal
  31. State and Local Surcharge Tax
  32. Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
  33. Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
  34. Telephone State and Local Tax
  35. Telephone Usage Charge Tax
  36. Utility Tax
  37. Vehicle License Registration Tax
  38. Vehicle Sales Tax
  39. Watercraft Registration Tax
  40. Well Permit Tax
  41. Workers Compensation Tax

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Martin, the greatest president

Tried to get Jayden to tell me what he learned at school today... He told me he learned about the greatest president we had, president martin, who was also a king...I'm thinking something got lost in the trip from school to home!

Three minutes later he signaled that he was quite done learning about Martin Luther King by tag-teaming my head with with a combination Jayden/Eliana bodyslam.

We're up to him remembering that "martin luther king said everyone should be the same.. i mean equal". I guess that's an improvement from king/president martin!

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Quote: Cynicism

A cynic is not merely one who reads bitter lessons from the past, he is one who is prematurely disappointed in the future.
- Sidney J. Harris

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Worms

Worms crawl in,
Worms crawl out.
Worms play pinochle on your snout.
They use your tongue,
As a diving board.
They dive right into,
Your vocal cords.
Your stomach turns,
An icky green.
Pus comes out,
Like a Dairy Queen.
Your eyes fall out,
Your teeth decay.
And that's the end,
Of a perfect day!